Průpovídky od našeho stolu (pouze anglicky)/Yeshiva Quote List (English only)
”You look so Israeli all of a sudden!” (my Oxford friend Adam when we met in Jerusalem)
“I think Gafna’s problem is that she looks too religious.” (Clary’s comment about my chances to find a husband in Israel)
“The solution is you keep going.” (Shayia on the problem of medieval French words in Rashi)
“I am talking serious theology and you are laughing at me?” (Reb Mordechai)
“The whipped cream is absolutely essential in the Jewish tradition.” (Reb Mordechai on the importance of performing mitzvoth with kavanah)
“And you really want to convert? But do you know that you will have to eat kosher for the whole year then?” (A surprised question of a chiloni tenant to my converting friend)
“The other thing is that it actually never happened…well, I hope I haven’t upset anybody.” (Shayia about exodus from Egypt)
”We are just trying to be halakhic quests.” (Dani’s response to Clary’s remark that he did not eat enough at our Rosh ha-Shana table, reminiscent of reb Shmuel suggestion that one should not overeat on the first day of the year not to overeat the whole year round)
Gafna: "I got just half of it" Clary: "I got just the German words." (After watching a TV program of the Academy for Hebrew Language)
"If you want to talk to somebody about the Prague Jewish community here, just go to old people’s home at Derekh Beit Lekhem.“ (Aleš’s suggestion for finding respondents for my research)
“I've entered a PhD program, so I've once again managed to avert a life crisis for another few years.” (David Tollerton)
“I am always trying to do it esthetically well. It looks much better then.” (Aleš on his strategy of arranging food on a Yom Tov table)
Reb Mordechai: “What fancy benchers you have!” Reb Pesach: “If you marry off so many children you get these for free.”
”Nipple up” Gafna in answer to Clary´s question about the right position of etrog while shaking.
“Yes, there is coexistence…thanks to the Israeli soldiers sitting outside.” Zvi answering Clary´s amazed question about the Muslim and Jewish prayer rooms side by side in the building covering the grave of Samuel the Prophet.
”What was before: The egg or the kitchen?” Jochanan, our Shabbat host in Zeev Ya´akov.
“I believe everybody has a certain gift for music. One just has to develop it. Hers is not developed. It is rudimentary. It is something like the legs of snakes.” (Aleš)
“Well, there are places in the world where you would be considered beautiful.” (Jacob´s peculiar way to compliment women)
"I think I should become a reform Chasid" (Clary after watching a TV program about the Breslaw Chasidim)
"The fact that I am obsessed with women does not mean I want to rape them" (Jacob on the issue of separation of men and women in the ultra-orthodox world)
"This was not a good joke and I thank you for not laughing" (Rabbi Artson)
"Are you trying to say my face is ugly?" (Adiv after I suggested he looked better with a beard)
“I saw him vomiting and I thought – what a mystic!” (Yael about an unspecified mutual friend of ours.)
“Yes, even in Mishnaic times it was impossible for a son to be older than his father.” (Josh)
“But this is de-rabeinu Adiv. A perush of the anti-midrash darshan.” (Shayia about Adiv’s comment in Chumash and Rashi class)
"I have two scarves. One is white. The other is not." (Adiv)
“Do you realize that when Mozart was your age, he was dead already for 2 years?” (David Frost)
“Family can become extremely intense. Especially if you have 27 first cousins like I do” (Tami, Aleš’s friend)
“I always tell my wife: ‘Don’t be a martyr. If I am doing something that bothers you, tell me straight away so that I can fix it. Like if you dont like me to leave dirty dishes in the sink…’ Damn, I left the dishes in the sink again this morning!” (Adiv during our chavruta on Gemara on Mishna Ketubot perek 7)
“There are students to whom I prefer not to reveal the secret that English language has other past tenses than just past simple.” (My mother´s teacher of English)
“Next week, I am starting work with a law firm called Slaughter and May…some would call this name slightly unfortunate.“ (Daniel K. about his new job in London)
Clary: “Adiv, would you like to come over for Friday night dinner?” Adiv: “Sure” Clary: “Are you a vegetarian?” Adiv: “No, but I don’t eat broccoli, zucciny, mashrooms, feta cheese, cottage cheese, meat from the bone, spinach, brussels sprouts, eggplant and fish…when I come, would you like me to bring something? Clary: “Yes, the main dish.”
“My body is proportionally disproportionate.” (Jacob)
“Well, I am not a Christian…obviously.” (Menachem)
“Breakfast is an invention of the cornflakes companies.” (Adiv)
Daniel M.: “So is there anybody you fancy here in Israel? Gafna: “Well, this is a very personal question!" Daniel M.: “Yes. As opposed to an impersonal one, I guess.”
"This is a circular argument. Well yes, it has a certain direction. It is a circular downfall." (Joseph studying Kiddushin 70b)
"Everything goes well. All the sheep are satisfied." Shayia about the Potiphar's house.
She was German. I mean really. She spoke German. She was born in Germany. She lived in Germany. You know, the whole thing." (Leon)
"You should know that despite all this, I agree with you." (Josh A. during our chavruta)
Shayia: "I started to hate my face. That is when I started to grow a beard." r. Shlomo: "Well, that is not true. Shayia has a very nice smooth face." Shayia: "Yes, a smooth face of a monkey."
"How can you say it is your fork? Have you put your name on it? Well, I don't think so. Unless your name is stainless steel." (Adiv)
"Don't worry, reb. Mordechai. The moment I finish rabbinical school I will become a used-car salesman." (Josh A. on r.M's question if it is permissible to take money for teaching Torah)
"Forget about student discount. I am simply poor." (David during our Jordan trip planning)
"Life can become very difficut if you are a man of principles." (reb Mordechai about being a congragational rabbi)
"I know, you are a shaliach tzibur and you have to have the kavanah and think of the congregation. But I could not help it - I thought - wow, I have been standing here for 2 hours and I have made some 600 bucks." (David)
"I´d prefer not to die today." (David about my idea to go for a walk to East Jerusalem)
From Jordan
"If I am ready? I was born ready!" (David)
"We are going to have so much fun it is going to be rediculous." (David)
"I think it is a great idea - an express bus that stops at every stop. We should bring this concept back home to America." (Mike)
"Oh, you brought a Shabbat timer!? You are such a good Jew, Gafna." (David)
"Don´t think you are something special just because you brought a timer." (David a few minutes later)
"Get out of here! And I mean it in a good way." (David)
"And you could break a bone. Or two. Or three. Or one really important one. Like your skull." (David when climbing the rocks of Petra)
"I think this is really great. I mean, I don´t know, really, whatever." (David)
reb Shlomo: "On Shabbat, it is forbiden to press grapes and olives. From that we infer that one is not allowed to squeeze juice from any kind of fruit." Michal: "But what if you put it in your mouth and chew it? In that case you also sqeeze juice from it." reb Shlomo: "Yes. In fact, this is what we call 'eating.'"
"He has more facial hair than face." (Josh A. about Shayia)
"It's so good to have you back. We missed you Shayia's class is not the same without you...wait, are you in Shayia's class?" (Richard)
Gafna on Tom´s leaving to East Jerusalem: "Be careful. And dont do anything I wouldn´t do." Tom: "Well, I am afraid I am certainly going to pray to Jesus."